As of late, I am screwed and I just don't care.
Pathetic, huh?
Sadly, it's true.
I'm on academic probation at school. I can't even decide if I want to go back next fall. I'm no where near deciding what I want to do with my future. I keep worrying about my financial state (which I normally could care less about). And I feel so out of place.
Other than that I'm okay. I mean, im in a terrific mood, I just don't care about these things because they don't matter too terribly much to me.
What an odd blog to follow the previous one.
Sometimes I believe I'm different people on different days.
I'm looking for a little more consistency.
I would say I wish the summer would hurry up. But I don't want to sit around and wish my life away. I'm going to figure this out. I have Help.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Let's Reflect In Retrospect.
Now for the blog that matters.
Not to say that this week wasn't incredible.
But I feel this is more important than anything right now. And my heart is just singing with such ferocity that it would be foolish to try to quiet it.
I'm tired of talking about nothing.
All I can say is I don't know why and I don't know for what reason, but God has showed me more in the past week than in the past years. Guys, I don't even know how to explain. So many times, I feel my "faith" is so counterfeit that everyone can see right through. Unfortunately, I am a better manipulator than that and I can make things seem alright when there not. And for the past few months, maybe even years, I have not been alright. I've tried to base my faith on feeling, alone, and question myself when things aren't going well and I don't feel like what i think a Christian should. But I have decided, I am done with formality and fundamentalism and I'm going to make my faith my own. Because whether you believe it or not, God is the most real thing I've come to find. The relationship I have with him is so genuine, so tangible and so intangible at the same time. Almost indescribable. Lately, I have been reading Blue Like Jazz and the book has just opened my eyes to so many aspects of my weak faith that I've never questioned or tested.
Right now, the only thing I'm certain of is that I'm finally choosing to be all I can in Christ. Its so cliche. And seems so generic. But I say these things with more seriousness than anything. And I know I will fail miserably, but I am still going to try. I am so sick of seeing everyone invest in this world. Because I believe this world is run by Satan and evil. And that I am bad and the good inside me is quite outnumbered. I plan on this being a life long fight and though I don't know how long this life will last, I do plan on fighting to the finish.
I know this blog may seem out of place, or maybe a quick fix to make myself feel better. But its not. Its just that for so long I've wanted a real faith, but I have done nothing to seek it. And have stayed my same old self. Forgive me for being a terrible example, but just know that I do Believe. And though i do think i've wanted to believe before, I don't think I have ever experienced something this real. And so assuring.
I just hope that even though this feeling will subside, I stand firm in what i believe. And serve to the best of my ability. Because I seriously cannot believe I am loved this much.
Not to say that this week wasn't incredible.
But I feel this is more important than anything right now. And my heart is just singing with such ferocity that it would be foolish to try to quiet it.
I'm tired of talking about nothing.
All I can say is I don't know why and I don't know for what reason, but God has showed me more in the past week than in the past years. Guys, I don't even know how to explain. So many times, I feel my "faith" is so counterfeit that everyone can see right through. Unfortunately, I am a better manipulator than that and I can make things seem alright when there not. And for the past few months, maybe even years, I have not been alright. I've tried to base my faith on feeling, alone, and question myself when things aren't going well and I don't feel like what i think a Christian should. But I have decided, I am done with formality and fundamentalism and I'm going to make my faith my own. Because whether you believe it or not, God is the most real thing I've come to find. The relationship I have with him is so genuine, so tangible and so intangible at the same time. Almost indescribable. Lately, I have been reading Blue Like Jazz and the book has just opened my eyes to so many aspects of my weak faith that I've never questioned or tested.
Right now, the only thing I'm certain of is that I'm finally choosing to be all I can in Christ. Its so cliche. And seems so generic. But I say these things with more seriousness than anything. And I know I will fail miserably, but I am still going to try. I am so sick of seeing everyone invest in this world. Because I believe this world is run by Satan and evil. And that I am bad and the good inside me is quite outnumbered. I plan on this being a life long fight and though I don't know how long this life will last, I do plan on fighting to the finish.
I know this blog may seem out of place, or maybe a quick fix to make myself feel better. But its not. Its just that for so long I've wanted a real faith, but I have done nothing to seek it. And have stayed my same old self. Forgive me for being a terrible example, but just know that I do Believe. And though i do think i've wanted to believe before, I don't think I have ever experienced something this real. And so assuring.
I just hope that even though this feeling will subside, I stand firm in what i believe. And serve to the best of my ability. Because I seriously cannot believe I am loved this much.
"Paging Larry Huckleberry"
For those of you who dont know, I had quite the spring break. Saw Relient K twice, once in Nashville, once in Missouri for Ethan Luck's first and second shows, respectively. T'was awesome.
The title of this blog comes from a flight attendant's page at about 6 am in the airport. After about 4 days of no sleep, that name is one of the most hilarious things you've ever heard.
To summarize, the trip started at 7 am sunday morning in route to nashville. Seven hours. Meg and I have done worse. The venue was incredible, the guys were awesome as always, and though the show had a lot of technical difficulties, it was still one of the funnest I've been to. Note to self, avoid Del Taco for the rest of my natural born life.
At 215, tuesday morning, I drove to the Charlotte airport to once again meet meg to fly to St. Louis. After arrival, we were greeted by the Real Chris Tucker. Before meeting, I was kind of uncomfortable. The only other person i had this similar situation with was Kelly, however we became familiar quickly over a game of air hockey. Chris and I wouldn't have this opportunity. Ultimately, the three of us clicked instantly and it really set the mood for the day. After meeting up with april and kelly and eating at smokin' chicks (great wings, by the way) we went to wait in line at the venue. By wait in line I simply mean bring Barnimum and Bailey to town. April brought Hula Hoops and we entertained the multitudes of passer byers. Quickly after, Meg realized her wallet was missing. Though it did suck, we were more worried about not being able to get back on the plane the following morning. After numerous calls, we were told we would need a police report to get back on the plane. First off, the only time I thought I would ever file a police report was if I ever got invited to be on Judge Judy (it's the first recommendation she always makes to the plaintiff) or if I ever deicded to kill someone and got a summons from the local CSI investigation squad. In other words, I thought i would never need one.
We tried to just push it to the side for the time being and enjoy the show, which by the way, was _________. Fill in the blank. I dont want to use the same old descriptive words.
A. Awesome.
B. Incredible.
C. Scrumptious
D. Drosophila Melanogaster
E. All of the above.
The correct answer is E.
That baffles even me.
After the show, we walked to the police station to file a report. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. We were interrogated. Like criminals. And accused of stealing clicky pens. The "officer" who believed nothing we said told us the quickest he could get a report was the FOLLOWING tuesday. He didnt understand we had a flight in about 8 hours we had to be on.
So, we cancelled the report and walked back over to talk to the guys. After being assurred we could get on and talking to everyone for a while, we said our goodbyes and booked out of there. Turns out, security had no problem with it. They just had to look through Meg's bags, which was perfect as we hid the bomb in her wallet. The bad news, we lost the wallet. I need to quit typing.
When all is said and done, this week made me see that Relient K is and always will be my favorites. Not only has their music played a major role in my life, the guys themselves are incredible. And though I've never worn an "I heart Jon Schneck" or "Mrs. Thiessen" shirt, I do love them. Just not enough to put it on a t-shirt. By means of puffy paint. With homosexual connotations. I think I might have taken that too far. Forgive me. In all honesty, I love those guys.
Anyway, here are some pictures I hope you enjoy.
Basically, worst spring break ever.
Humph.
The title of this blog comes from a flight attendant's page at about 6 am in the airport. After about 4 days of no sleep, that name is one of the most hilarious things you've ever heard.
To summarize, the trip started at 7 am sunday morning in route to nashville. Seven hours. Meg and I have done worse. The venue was incredible, the guys were awesome as always, and though the show had a lot of technical difficulties, it was still one of the funnest I've been to. Note to self, avoid Del Taco for the rest of my natural born life.
At 215, tuesday morning, I drove to the Charlotte airport to once again meet meg to fly to St. Louis. After arrival, we were greeted by the Real Chris Tucker. Before meeting, I was kind of uncomfortable. The only other person i had this similar situation with was Kelly, however we became familiar quickly over a game of air hockey. Chris and I wouldn't have this opportunity. Ultimately, the three of us clicked instantly and it really set the mood for the day. After meeting up with april and kelly and eating at smokin' chicks (great wings, by the way) we went to wait in line at the venue. By wait in line I simply mean bring Barnimum and Bailey to town. April brought Hula Hoops and we entertained the multitudes of passer byers. Quickly after, Meg realized her wallet was missing. Though it did suck, we were more worried about not being able to get back on the plane the following morning. After numerous calls, we were told we would need a police report to get back on the plane. First off, the only time I thought I would ever file a police report was if I ever got invited to be on Judge Judy (it's the first recommendation she always makes to the plaintiff) or if I ever deicded to kill someone and got a summons from the local CSI investigation squad. In other words, I thought i would never need one.
We tried to just push it to the side for the time being and enjoy the show, which by the way, was _________. Fill in the blank. I dont want to use the same old descriptive words.
A. Awesome.
B. Incredible.
C. Scrumptious
D. Drosophila Melanogaster
E. All of the above.
The correct answer is E.
That baffles even me.
After the show, we walked to the police station to file a report. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. We were interrogated. Like criminals. And accused of stealing clicky pens. The "officer" who believed nothing we said told us the quickest he could get a report was the FOLLOWING tuesday. He didnt understand we had a flight in about 8 hours we had to be on.
So, we cancelled the report and walked back over to talk to the guys. After being assurred we could get on and talking to everyone for a while, we said our goodbyes and booked out of there. Turns out, security had no problem with it. They just had to look through Meg's bags, which was perfect as we hid the bomb in her wallet. The bad news, we lost the wallet. I need to quit typing.
When all is said and done, this week made me see that Relient K is and always will be my favorites. Not only has their music played a major role in my life, the guys themselves are incredible. And though I've never worn an "I heart Jon Schneck" or "Mrs. Thiessen" shirt, I do love them. Just not enough to put it on a t-shirt. By means of puffy paint. With homosexual connotations. I think I might have taken that too far. Forgive me. In all honesty, I love those guys.
Anyway, here are some pictures I hope you enjoy.
Basically, worst spring break ever.
Humph.
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